You're the only one who can prevent forest fires, look over there, so many people would never be able to use the internet again

When you flip your moms car but you ain't worried cause you live in the greatest country known to man

When you find out starbucks plans to hire thousands of refugees but you really need your coffee fix

When you find a lit series that already has 4-5 seasons, 20 episodes per season & 45 minutes per episode

14 year olds nowadays vs me when i was 14

Yo lebron mr president nah man it's just barack now y'all need one more

Therapist: ok so what's your earliest childhood memory

The all live matter crowd during the muslim ban

When you forgot to text her good-night and wake up to i sincerely hope you have a blessed life

My summer body is currently looking like

Gave my girlfriend a ring with a big stone as she asked

Beethoven adding a fermata to every dominant chord like

When i was a pup, i had one toy and it was a stick

When i joined the mickey mouse club, i assumed there would be mice

This dog just showed up to petsmart and asked to speak to the manager

When your parents would make you show them the clothes you just tried on

How do you think the unthinkable, with an itheberg

Saw a pigeon having a job interview earlier, i hope he got it

Hello sir is everything alright down there, did you just assume my gender

In case of cyberattack break glass and pull cables

Our death ray doesn't seem to be working, i'm standing right in it and i'm not dead yet

Fred are you sure about this, yes i'm sure theres a 40 year old unmarried woman living over here she will treat us like gods

Our death ray doesn't seem to be working i'm standing right in it and i'm not dead yet

Dominos tracker your order is out for delivery me

Me trying to remember someone's name two seconds after they tell it to me

Slow down we love kids, gun it we'll make more

Girls if you found a suit case full of money and your phone number was the amount that u found how much would u have?

Buys an island for privacy, with the money he made selling your privacy

This is every old man's facebook profile picture and it's always uploaded 9 times

Please send me an extra empty box that has whatever written in big letters in it because that's what my girlfriend said she wants

When u mess up a screenshot and accidentally lock ur phone and all u can see is the reflection of failure staring back at you

When an old homie gets re-added to the group chat, but you low key know he murdered a temple full of younglings

I'm finally going to stick to my diet, sees a commercial for the new hotdog stuffed crust pizza, i dont need it, i need it

My friends taking pictures of me vs me taking pictures of my friends

Psssst, hey kid, wanna do some blitzkrieg

I'm so angry i stitched this just so i could stab something 3.000 times

Mom said wash your dish i said what dish

Forgot to take away everyone's guns

When you bring your girl around your homie and he suddenly becomes a comedian

When you see someone from school in public

Php best practices page 1 use something else the end

My parents took a beach vacation with their dog and sent me this photo

Pretending to study in front of ur parents like

Current mood, i need sleep come back in a month

When you take a selfie so good you don't believe it's you

Moms be like you cand do better, A+

When you only have 1$ and the chips come out as 1.04$ and the cashier says it alright

Trying to prove to a girl that he's in bed

Asked my stoned friend to bring me a glass of tea, he came back with this and said we're out of tea, still processing this

When your eyes say nein but your lederhosen say ja