Never give up on someone with a mental illness, when I is replaced by we illness becomes wellness

When you invite your female friends to watch Bee Movie but halfway through the movie they start touching your front stinger

Will you break your current relationship for $500 million? - Hand break

McDonald's Employee Fired For Placing His Mixtapes In Children's Happy Meals - Can sell any type of item to any kind of merchant

Who would win? Vladalv Putup - Rimimir Nitin

Michael looks so fed up with me for not hitting play lol

Me:*is playing a game* - Me:*makes a easily avoidable mistake* Fbi guys:

My FBI guy: It's 3AM - My 2nd FBI guy: His calendar is full and his alarm is set for 5AM - 1st FBI guy: He's making another meme about us

Alright Elon, this is called a 'zipline'. "and the humans, they enjoy this?" they enjoy it very much Elon "then I shall enjoy it as well"

Me: "yo the pizza app isn't working" - Friend: "dude just call them" - My anxiety:

My girlfriend asked what iwanted for dinner so i said 'surprise me" this isn't what iwas expecting lol - Car sausage

Introducing your pals like: I came across this particulart tart about three years ago

So technically Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet

How can I transfer money that is in my mind to my bank account?

When you get so drunk you become a Disney princess

When you're trying to copy off your mate in class and they move onto the next page

When you wake up and check your phone to see how much longer you can sleep,but its right before your alarm rings

Decided to go for a walk on the beach and got freak out when I thought I'd ran into a kkk meeting - Turns out they're just closed beach umbrellas

Sun bears all look like humans in bear costumes doing a terrible job of acting like bears - Illusion 0

I am no longer the family pet, me and your dad are together now and it's about time you show me some respect

When you see kids fortnite dancing in public - lift bar to create a mass extinction

Trump: mexico bildma, Que es bildma - Bildma walls lmao, mexico pays for wall

Apple: our device is too thin to fit a lan port, let's just get rid of it - Fujitsu: lol hold my sake baka gaijin

Heading to target ta get a few things

When your grandpa throws a Nokia and knocks you out, but you throw a Note 7 and it explodes - The future is now old man

Her: I bet he's thinking about hot girls - Him: you may not rest now

Dad trying to fix the car - Me holding the light

"Does your dog bite?" "No, it 's worse...she judges."

Car Salesman: *slaps roof of Horse* this bad boy can fit nothing in it, it's just a gift i swear haha trust me

When you know you're European but not exactly sure where you're ancestors are from - Airheads white mistery

When you get so drunk you become a Disney princess

Me every time 16 year olds make a new word like yeet and I have to look on urban dictionary

When you scoop some Froot Loops into the spoon and it's exactly six loops with individual colors

Of all the utensils invented to eat rice - How did two sticks win?

Just put the treats in the bag and nobody gets humped

In spanish, the suffix "-ito" means little So the word "dorito" means something like "little doro" implying the existence of a bigger and legendary snack called "DORO"