Hey if a public bathroom door is locked don't forget to try to repeatedly open it and give the person using it paralyzing anxiety

Ameicans when they see someone using km/h instead of guns per school

This barista puts stickers over the Starbucks logo on frappuccinos so girls can't take selfies with them

The therapy dog after I share all my problems

If you're not grilling at my grave site we were never really friends

When the waitress takes your plate and there were still fries on it

Thomas Edison: invents light bulb - Moths in 1879

WHEN AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE MEETS AN IMMOVABLE OBJECT, Let me speak to the manager, I am the manager

Me trying to avoid eye contact with the crack head at the gas station

Me: mom can we stop at McDonald's? Mom: no we have food at home, food at home:

The last thing Ant-Man saw - Blue Black Hole

Fast food worker: Sorry my manager actually isn't here today, People named Karen:

Elephants brains react to humans the same way that humans' brain react to puppies, they think we are cute, My life has had no greater joy than knowing elephants think I'm cute

Every news article promoting the first black hole image, the first black hole image

Felt cute, might devour whole solar systems later, idk

Commercial vs Reality - Black Hole Meme

Black Hole: I don't give off visible light, you literally can't take pictures of me, Some intelligent thing on a rock:*does it anyway* Black Hole:

Did you learn a new language? Si , What did it cost? Mi familia

When you're running low on space but your pup gives your computer a megabite

When it's Crab Rave's first birthday and no one seems to care

Person at my University took this photo, The Walking Debt

When you pause the music, but keep the headphones on so you can eavesdrop

Me: What can I do to get healthier,doctor? Doctor: Use a bicycle and cut the carbs

When people only like the happiness doggo and not the angry doggo, angry noise

I would literally die if a boy did this to me

Telekinesis, telekenephews

This is my little brother Carlton, he knows we can't afford new clothes so he just doesn't grow

Fur missile incoming

Me: mom can we stop at McDonald's, Mom: we have food at home, Food at home:

Nature is beautiful, that is a croissant

Explain your smolness, Am potat

Billie Eilish - sHE's brOKen, 14 year old girls, SSBREN

First I nail this roof, then I re-establish communism

The I from Pixar finally had enough

Garlic bread is cool but have you ever tried Coca Cola Garlic