When its not what you ordered for lunch but you are too shy to correct them

Gucci and his fiance look like leaders of the atlanta pokemon gym

What michigan fans see, what the rest of the world sees

When i'm picking someone up and they make me wait more than 5 seconds to come out

Kay jewelers accused of swapping diamonds with fakes, every kiss you got was fake

Mum - can hear you crying luv u do u want garlic bread xx

Just got to tennis, boyfriend has taken my racket out and put a frying pan in instead, i'm not even joking

When you said u were gonna be productive this weekend but now its sunday and all u did was get fatter

You ever hear of the movie 'Constipation', nope, that's because it hasn't come out yet

Trying to get out of bed, try again, help, cancel

When you try to caffeinate yourself but you just end up increasing your heart rate while remaining exhausted

Found this in your drawer while looking for my blue scissors, dad gave it to me to check tire pressure, why'd you put it in a bag

WA Police organised crime squad detectives and canine unit officers have seized over 150 packages as part of an operation held this week targeting the distribution of illicit drugs through the mail transport network

Rheumatoid arthritis convention

Do you think we're alone in the universe, you're from outer space

The trick to curing a sore throat is to burn it with scalding hot tea, so you show your body who really is in charge

The implication, they won't say no, they never say no

Warning, baiting deer is illegal, this corn pile is intended for squirrels, chipmunks and other such animals, any deer found eating this corn will be shot

Mom is going to be so happy when she sees the gas tank full

25% Drake, 25% the hound, 25% napoleon dynamite, 25% billy zane

2016 started with a gorilla and ended with a guerrilla

Spent whole life fighting capitalism, dies on black friday - fidel castro

Ms. Frizzle took the kids to the wrong neighborhood

I lost a good friend + drinking buddy this past weekend in a tragic accident, he got his finger caught in a wedding ring

The ultimate thumb destroyer

Blue power, red power, green power, well hi?

Need air support, follow your dreams

Brittany, 16, went to brazil to meet a boy who said come to brazil and he wasn't there

We are looking for someone aged 22-26 with 30 years of experience

Oh you're not home at 1pm, we'll try again tomorrow at 1pm

This is immunity cat, she protects from the if you don't repost she will kill you posts, now that you have seen immunity cat, he is forever with you protecting you from the supernatural, you will no longer have to fear the husky or bloody mary or anything else, because immunity cat is always with you

More snow, not my season, make colorado snow again, powder to the people

When your teacher says you got 2 minutes left to finish the test

When they say "we'll call you" but you tell everybody you got the job - Madam President Clinton

Dad, someone's going to stop all the violence between protestors and trump voters, right? Afraid not, son, what's important right now is figuring out whose fault this is