That awkward moment when your wallet is worth more than what's inside

Let's walk really slow and take up the whole hallway

My mom told me to just by myself people would like me - That would be good advice if you were somebody else

Future lawyer, he was told not to step outside

How dogs see road trips, how cats see road trips

The drive thru at wendys is so long, good thing i found a snack in the back seats!

Working out to impress gf, gf thinks i'm trying to impress other girls

I really do like chicken nuggets, chicken nuggets is like my family

If you die in Canada do you die in real life

Ow look its justin bigger

So what is the difference between a puppet and a muppet?

Real life - Never heard of that server

Spring is here ladies, time to break out the razor

This morning i understood the logo of windows

What's mine is mine, and what's yours is ours

Macbook, because camera is too mainstream

The green energy thing is getting out of hand

Two dogs are seen guarding a bicycle in Chine, according to owner, the pair are protective of him and his possessions

I'm glad to see the park full of kids again - Internet is back!

Corgis just don't care...

I dont understand why girls get so upset when guys play video games - I don't know who are you, but i will find you and marry you

Goat any last words?

Everybody ever uses times new roman 12 pt, let's make the default font calibri 11 pt, they'll love that

Stealing sloths from your local zoo to raise as your own

Hi, i'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC, why don't you take a seat

If you know one of my passwords, you know them all

We learn from history that we never learn from history - He's right

What is the worst gift you've ever received? My life

I think you've had enough

I do have a verified email, so i got that goin for me which is nice

Breaks up with you - Tells her friends and family what a great guy you are

There, their, and they're. Get it right your in college

There is a town called sandwich in massachusetts, there are literally police cars labelled sandwich police

Mac bath, was this really worth the joke, it was a mac, it was already a joke

When our home was broken into, i went to my daughters room and threw away all of her Justin Bieber things, i told her the burglars took them

This bork has so much bork that a bork could bork it

Boston bombings represent a sorrowful scene of what happens everyday in Syria. Do accept our condolences. The syrian revolution knrc kafranbel 19 4 13

Buys 1200$ ipad and iphone set to play ukulele, instead of a 20$ ukulele

Would you be offended if next time we hang out i brought sliced of bread to tear pieces off and toss at you?

I'm late for school, i'll try again tomorrow

Taylor Swift is a bad singer, do you agree? I have no comment, i do not want a song written about me

Getting nervous when he's around

She's like a velociraptor, if she senses movement, she dates it

Some people are okay but mostly i just feel like poisoning everybody

Take that first step today, and learn how to paint your nails

Who needs relationships when kittens?

You have no idea how happy i get when the microwave beeps and my food is ready

Hey everybody this guy has swag, see nobody cares

When boys get out of the pool

Evolution of Dwayne The Rock Johnson