Posts

Hipster peer pressure, come on no one else is doing it

Rob the ballon guy, that's just my name don't actually rob me

Hey jesse it's me badger, dude dont use your real name, what that isn't my real name

We'll just take these home, run them over with a fine tooth comb cross the t's and dot the lower case j's

Sadie acts like she's never felt something so beautiful in it's whole life

Is that plane debris sir, no that's the great pacific garbage patch the media keeps ignoring

This student filled in everything but the ovals, in art school he'd be a genius

What's your hacker name, color of your shirt, password to your email

Ahh look a bear, ahh look a black man, yeah doesn't feel good does it

It's rotten being old no one listens to you, it's awful being a kid no one listens to you, i'm a white male age 18 to 49 everyone listen to me no matter how dumb my suggestions are

Did oscar pistorius shoot down flight 370 while high on weed, we just don't know

Sorry i'm late, somebody tampered with my brakes, well then you should have been early

We'd like to thank steve for coming out

It took the children 40 minutes to locate canada on the map, marge anyone can miss canada all tucked away down there

It's totally cool just keep your voice down, my roommates are sleeping, you mean your parents, yeah same thing, nice jammies, they're present from my roommates

Deer caught dancing on the back roads

I must stay for i have found my people

Dayton stolen dog, ozzy pawsborn prince of barkness

This nut has done more travelling in one movie then i have all summer

Born too late to explore the new world, born too early to explore space, born just in time to explore the internet

We're going around the world in 80 days, come on let's go, what's the big hurry, we're not leavin for 80 days

You guys from florida, no we're from the future, the 21st century, the magnificent far off year of 2002

Carefully slip and fall down

Now you can go through chipotle as fast as chipotle goes through you

At our age, probably an ambulance, it's got everything you need to have, yes exactly clear boom, carry on

I compare winter to be the justin bieber of seasons, it was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out and now it is a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in canada

Poland borders ukraine, guess putin will do anything to get closer to a better vodka

Look i'm a hooman, get off da counter don't eat mai fud, dur dur dur dur

I was turning this crab with the handle of a knife so i could grab it easy to cook the crab disarmed me and is now wielding a knife

I hate when i'm trying to be handsome and a more handsome man stands next to me and handsomes much harder than i can

Courage you know i can't hear you without my glasses

Ever try arguing with a woman, serious injury lawyer, free first meeting

Besides watermelon, there should be windmelon, firemelon and earthmelon, the four elemelons

Loves cookies, never gets invited over to bake them

If you don't get my references then there's something siriusly ron with you

Are you a girl, is that a girl, that's a girl