Hey if a public bathroom door is locked don't forget to try to repeatedly open it and give the person using it paralyzing anxiety

Ameicans when they see someone using km/h instead of guns per school

This barista puts stickers over the Starbucks logo on frappuccinos so girls can't take selfies with them

The therapy dog after I share all my problems

If you're not grilling at my grave site we were never really friends

When the waitress takes your plate and there were still fries on it

Thomas Edison: invents light bulb - Moths in 1879