Would you like to sign up for derpmagazine?

It's my money and i need it now

We so high right meow

Get on the squirrel - There's no time to explain


Falls to the floor - Break the screen - Break the floor

Honey did you seen any of my bobby pins?

Horses in a boat!

So, why didn't you scream?

That wonderful moment when you finnaly pee after holding it in for so long

How high are you? - No officer, it's hi how are you


Random fat giant breaks into your house and tells you to follow him to a magical school - Sounds legit

That scary moment

Black cat

Hey derp let's take a picture together - Nigger

It's almost Christmas - Shake - Stop or you'll break it - What's in that box

Wat - Go get the remote

A camera - Hi mooom - I'll be famous

What is love? Baby don't herd me

700 megabytes - 1 gigabyte - 1 terabyte - 1 nigga bite

Le me pooping

Sweet zeus, i'm walking on clouds

Just one?

Le sit - I almost died

If i touch the black ones... i'm dead

I hope that you all get high grades

Lights? Who needs them?

This is wut happens wen my baby hits me back

Open a browser please - Internet explorer - You are fired

Complains about how crappy facebook is - Via facebook

Every girl is beautiful until her photoshop trial ends

I finished my final exams with 100% - Only 100!?

The litter tray is empty again - Someone is stealing my poop

The number of votes in Russia is just fine

I'm seeing other people - My girlfriends hallucinating

Time to look for food - What a lovely worm - What is this witchcraft?

The number u gave me at the bar was wrong - So i followed you home

They saw me rolling - I ate them

I am untouchable

Things are going great!

Forever a snow

Yellow tomatoes

Forever unemployed

She... smiled at me

Fart - It knows

My owner has become a cellphone

Very late night - Honey you are so hard to scare good night

Knows you've been naughty - Still gives you presents

Stop raising your hand alligator - You don't know the answer to my questions. You are an alligator