I just thought maybe i could take you out, take me out of what, my comfort zone?

I once told a woman i was kevin costner, and it worked because i believe it

But you said he was all right, he's lost his left hand so he's going to be all right

The funniest vines always have black people in them so look i hired a black guy, say something funny black guy, actually my background's in accounting

Mom can you give me money, to buy ice-cream, yes ice cream, what does this mean, i think a 12 year was trying to make a joke about weed

There's always that child at church that stares at you like they know all you sins

Pawnee is cheap and we like it here, and chicago seems like there's a lot of stuff to do and people, but i like to do nothing with no one

Hikers and bikers, move to the side of the road when a vehicle approaches

Do you want to know what i think,who cares what you think, you're a girl!

That one dad, he called me a gecko

I bought cs:go a week ago, now i can speak native russian

Playing counter-strike at airport without headphones, bomb has been planted

All the dialogue is either whispered or screamed, everything in the movie is on fire